Executive Dysfunction Feels Like This (and Here’s How to Deal)
You sit down to write the email you’ve been avoiding all week.
Then suddenly you’re scrolling Instagram, reorganizing your bookshelf, remembering you haven’t watered the plants in a while, and oops — the email is still blank. You know what you need to do, you just... can’t make yourself do it.
Sound familiar?
That’s executive dysfunction. And if you’ve ever felt overwhelmed, paralyzed, or frustrated with yourself for not doing the things you know you need to do, you’re not alone.
So, What Is Executive Dysfunction?
Executive functioning is your brain’s management system. It helps you plan, prioritize, start tasks, stay focused, manage time, regulate emotions, and adapt when things change.
Executive dysfunction is when those processes don’t work as smoothly. Think of it like having 37 browser tabs open, but none of them are loading.
You might struggle to:
Start tasks (even ones you want to do)
Finish things once you start
Stay organized
Remember important dates or deadlines
Switch gears when something changes
Manage your emotions when things feel overwhelming
Executive dysfunction isn’t about being lazy or unmotivated. It’s a brain-based difference that affects how you operate day to day.
What It Feels Like
Executive dysfunction isn’t just annoying. It can make you feel like you’re constantly falling behind, disappointing others (and yourself), or not living up to your potential.
You might notice:
Guilt for not doing "simple" things
Shame because you "should be able to handle it"
Anxiety about your to-do list
Frustration when your brain won’t cooperate
Exhaustion from trying to keep up with daily life
It can show up in school, work, relationships, parenting, and even self-care.
Common Causes & Conditions Linked to Executive Dysfunction
Executive dysfunction can be a symptom of many neurodevelopmental and mental health conditions, including:
ADHD
Autism
Anxiety Disorders
Depression
PTSD/Trauma
Brain injuries or chronic stress
But even without a formal diagnosis, people under high stress or burnout can experience executive dysfunction.
So What Helps?
Good news: You don’t need to "fix" your brain. You just need strategies that work with it, not against it. Here are some practical tools to help you manage executive dysfunction and show up for your life in ways that feel more doable.
1. Body Before Brain
When your executive functioning is offline, start with your nervous system. Try a grounding technique (like deep breathing, cold water, or movement) to signal safety to your body.
Try this:
Splash cold water on your face
Stand up and stretch for 30 seconds
Take 5 slow, intentional breaths
When your body calms, your brain can kick back into gear.
2. Start Small. No, Smaller.
If a task feels huge, your brain may register it as a threat and shut down. Break it down into steps so small they almost feel silly.
Instead of: "Clean the kitchen"
Try: "Put the dirty spoon in the dishwasher"
Momentum builds from tiny wins. And that first step is often the hardest.
3. Externalize Everything
Your brain doesn’t have to remember everything. Take the pressure off by getting stuff out of your head.
Try:
A whiteboard with your daily tasks
Sticky notes where you’ll actually see them
A digital app with reminders and recurring tasks
Think of it like building a brain outside your brain.
4. Make Time Tangible
If you struggle with time blindness (where time feels slippery or abstract), visual cues can help.
Try:
Timers (visual or digital)
Blocking time on your calendar
Alarms for transitions between tasks
Give time a shape your brain can see.
5. Add Interest or Urgency
Executive function loves dopamine. If a task is boring, your brain checks out. You can hack this by adding stimulation or urgency.
Try:
Body doubling (doing a task alongside someone else)
Gamifying a chore (set a timer and try to beat it)
Pairing the task with something enjoyable (music, snacks, a podcast)
Make it a little more fun, and suddenly it feels a little more possible.
6. Compassion Over Criticism
You are not your productivity. You’re not lazy. You’re not a failure. You’re a human with a brain that processes things differently.
Instead of "Why can’t I just do it?" Try: "What kind of support do I need right now?"
Compassion reduces shame. And shame is a motivation killer.
7. Get Curious, Not Judgmental
When you notice a pattern (like always missing deadlines or avoiding tasks), get curious about it. What’s making it hard?
Ask yourself:
Is the task too big?
Am I overwhelmed, tired, or anxious?
What’s the first tiny step I can take?
Understanding your patterns leads to real change.
8. Therapy Can Help
You don’t have to figure this all out alone. At Hive Wellness Collective, we support neurodivergent individuals of all ages (formally diagnosed or self-diagnosed) with tools, strategies, and support that actually work.
Our therapists help you:
Understand how your brain works
Build self-compassion
Learn regulation skills
Break shame cycles
Create realistic systems for success
Whether you’re navigating ADHD, anxiety, burnout, or just feel like your brain works differently, we get it.
TL;DR: Executive Dysfunction Is Real, and You’re Not Alone
If you’re struggling to get started, stay focused, or follow through, it’s not a character flaw. It’s executive dysfunction. And there are ways to support your brain without shaming it.
Start small. Stay kind. And know that help is out there when you’re ready.
You’re doing better than you think. And we’re here to help.
Want to learn more about working with a therapist who gets it? Reach out to find out how we can support you in Ann Arbor, Dexter, or virtually across Michigan.